Behind the Glass #6

Killing Me Inside

A Lovers’ Standoff would be an alternative title for this song. It was never an option and just came into my mind while writing this text. Actually, Killing Me Inside always kept it’s working title. Besides Destructive Mind it’s the only song that contains spoken parts.

The lyrics deal with two ex-lovers, Holly and Bino, and their final confrontation before…yeah, before what? I think, it more or less describes Bino and Holly facing each other one last time before their break-up.

During the verses Bino can be found tied to a chair being some kind of prisoner or a defendant with no lawyer present. On the other hand, their standoff being an emotional one, he’s sitting in some kind of angry chair, representing a bunch of negative emotions.
No matter what he does he knows he won’t leave this chair alive. Well, not literally, he just has to die on the inside in order to forget Holly. However, dying for her does not make the memories go away. That’s the case until today.

The spoken part is Bino confronting Holly directly. No matter what she does to him, she is not able to break or kill him. At least he doesn’t show to her that what she says and does to him is tearing him apart. This is shown by the line “Still I don’t make a sound”; i.e. no matter what you do to me you’ll never see or know its effects. The spoken lines also make clear that they both past the point of no return. They are in the same room but let’s imagine Holly standing before Bino throwing accusations at him (“You spit in my face”) and him sitting, obviously, in the chair. So whatever happens is not gonna save their relationship.

In order to overcome the separation Bino had to go through hell for a long time. That’s what the chorus is all about. The final chorus is about Bino knowing that one day there’ll be an end to his torment – he just has to die to see it. And he did die.

The lyrics were written at a time when I was pretty angry and depressed. They’re my way of dealing with all the pain and rage that was bottled up inside of me. However, no matter what these and other lyrics dealing with Holly express I have to clarify one thing: Holly always has been an awesome person – sweet, intelligent and beautiful – I’m sure she still is.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
Feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

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