Behind the Glass #11

Between the Lover and the Realist

The last part of what was never intended to be a “Monty Trilogy”. It just occurred to me while writing this text. So, officially there will never be a trilogy but only the third song about Monty.
Being given the title My Heart/Your Heart the song was intended to be a dialogue between two lovers. I’ll never know what kind of a dialogue – an argument, discussion etc. – it would have been because the lyrics went in a completely different direction. Therefore, the working title wasn’t fitting at all.
As it turned out the lyrics are indeed a dialogue but not between lovers but two different people; i.e. Person A who is deeply in love and Person B who can see what this love is doing to A. Person A (Monty) sees a different world through a lovers eyes while B (Bino) tries to be realistic about all the lovey-dovey stuff. I guess that explains the title Between the Lover and the Realist although it seems they’re talking at cross purposes.

The verses are split into two parts, the lover’s and the realist’s (written in italics). The lover’s part is sung while the realist’s part is supposed to be rapped. At first the realist’s part was supposed to be the chorus but, well, it turned out quite differently. Between the lover and the realist is the only song that has no chorus – at least not in a classical way. Let us, therefore, speak of verses and counter-verses.

The lover’s verses are a declaration of love expressed in an overly romantic way. Monty sees his beloved as a savior. She’s someone he must cherish and, it seems, worship. He adores that perfect human being before his eyes, completely giving himself to her. His adoration goes from meeting the girl to marrying her or at least thinking about it.

In the counter-verses Bino expresses his view that the most beautiful romances make for the most brutal wars. That was his point of view at the time of writing. Actually, love can be a beautiful thing. Anyways, the realist wants to show the lover what to expect once the romance is over, the feelings gone: total emotional destruction. But the lover dreams on.

The last verse is a mixture, maybe a direct confrontation, between the lover and the realist. But I leave that open to your interpretation.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Feel free to comment and share your thoughts.  

Behind the Glass #10

Faces Behind Ink

Here, again, we have a song about Monty. Faces Behind Ink alludes to the phenomenon of people hiding their true identity behind all kinds of masks. Oscar Wilde once said:
Man is least himself when he talks in his own person. Give him a mask, and he will tell you the truth.

I think there is so much truth to this. Just think about all the people on the internet hiding behind their supposed anonymity. It is nothing but a mask. They post things they’d never say in a face to face conversation. That’s simply the way it is.
In Monty’s case we’re talking about tattoos – Tattoo was also the song’s working title. It’s not a general assumption that tattoo serve as some kind of disguise to those who wear them, don’t get me wrong.

The first line in the first verse is, obviously, an allusion to Macbeth’s soliloquy (Act V, Scene 5) in the play which name must not be mentioned (Macbeth). After he hears of the queen’s death he states that:

Life’s but a walking shadow, a poor player
That struts and frets his hour upon the stage
And then is heard no more

The verse further shows Monty as being someone dominated by multiple personalities. Not as in the case of a multiple personality disorder but rather as someone who acts with and without a mask.
“You don’t even cast a shadow” is an expression of the notion that someone who casts no shadow has no soul. The final two lines are about Bino who should have seen it coming that one day Monty will leave him, i.e. their friendship ends.
In the second verse Bino talks about how Monty has changed: neglecting his friends, no longer caring for soccer and so on. “You don’t even lose a soul” completes the statement about having no soul in the first verse. Those two lines could also have made up part of one verse, e.g. you don’t even cast a shadow/you don’t even lose a soul. However, they may serve as closure for the verses before the last part is repeated.
Dier is a made-up word. It might describe someone who is in the process of dying but not necessary in a literal way. Should it bear any meaning in any other language it is purely coincidental.

In the interlude Bino speaks of a serpent that roams paradise. This serpent, of course, is the girl who manipulated Monty into abandoning all of his friend, maybe all of his former life.

What about Monty’s tattoo? Well, that is the part the chorus deals with. Monty got a tattoo which was the first significant change. A tattoo always represents a deeper meaning. At least most tattoos do. As the heart is usually the place for deeper meanings and feelings getting a tattoo is like wearing part of one’s inner self on one’s sleeve, therefore the lines:

Had it taken from the heart
Had it tattooed on your skin

As I said before, the lyrics might sound angry because that is how I felt at the time. But whatever Monty did I still wish him the best of luck because the way I remember him, he was a nice guy.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

Behind the Glass #9

Clarity

This song also deals with Becky and Bino and whatever it is that was between them. It’s always pretty hard to be treated so ambiguously by someone that you care for. It hurts to swing like a pendulum between ignorance and friendship (or more?). Everyone might have stumbled across moments like those in their own life and I guess all you wanted – needed – was Clarity. Knowing where you stand and where to go from there.

Clarity, basically, deals with Bino suffering from Becky’s ignorance. The first verse is about their last meeting having taken place a long time ago. It refers to a special memory where sat in a café where the light always changed its color. When the light turned blue and shone around Becky she looked more beautiful than ever before or after that. She’s still beautiful, don’t get me wrong. The atmosphere was full of feelings and there was something that passed between them. It was one of those moments where you know that both of you know they feel something special but realize it only when it’s too late.
Verse two is simply about Bino being tormented by the arms of the clock and not knowing when or if he’s gonna see Becky again. In the third verse it is obvious that he is pretty sure he won’t see her any time soon or maybe lose her completely to someone else. The memories are about to be buried. Bino and Becky are about to be buried. Whatever was between them is about to die. Or are they already dead? I leave that up to you, as well as the following line:

Explain to me the ashes on the symmetry

I’ll gladly read any of your interpretations. So, if you wanna give it a try, write it down in the comment section or send me an e-mail: bino3288@gmail.com

In the – let’s call it – interlude Bino tries to get rid of the memories he shares with Becky. Of course he doesn’t literally want to kill her. Here, too, it’s slightly ambiguous as he wants her to go away but to stay at the same time. But then he wants a definite decision; i.e. clarity.

Finally, the chorus is an expression of Bino’s wish or craving for clarity. Therefore, however, he has to see Becky again and – as mentioned before – he does not know if and when that is gonna happen.

Until today he has seen her again but never received clarity. Last he knows she had or still has a boyfriend. But that’s okay. It’s a good thing she’s happy.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Feel free to comment and share your thoughts. 

Behind the Glass #8

Destructive Mind

Becky – no, that’s not her real name – is the sister of a good friend of mine. Destructive Mind deals with a time when I got to know two sides of her.
Side one: what in god’s name are you doing to yourself?
Side two: what in god’s name are you doing to me?
The song is split into two parts – Waste and How come you never look at me? – one sung, the other spoken. Actually, the lyrics were always planned this way. However, its original title was Waste which has now become the name of the first part.
The song’s final title is nothing but the conclusion I’ve drawn from reading the lyrics again and again and from one particular conversation with Becky. She seems to me to be as fragile as glass. One day we stood on a high platform and she asked me: Do you think one might die when jumping down? I suppose she has some kind of a destructive mind.

Before explaining the lyrics I have to say that Becky and Bino know and don’t know each other. What does that mean? Well, they stay in contact for awhile, meet for a drink and then there’s silence. They don’t have any contact for months.

Waste is about Bino seeing Becky after sometime, comparing her to the image of her that’s been in his mind all the time. Life has not been good to Becky is the unavoidable conclusion. Or Becky has not been good to herself. She’s one year younger than Bino who – at the time of writing the lyrics – was 22 but looks older, especially when wearing no make-up.
He always felt some kind of connection between her and him. What did she feel? If only he knew…Still, he wanted to be with her, in any way whatsoever. Love her or just be there for her which explains the lines:

I wanna see
I wanna feel
I wanna hold you today

He never got the chance. And that’s what How come you never look at me? is about.
It’s about the time shortly after seeing Becky again; the time when he asks himself Why did I do this to me? Why did she do this to me?
It’s just Bino ranting about having been hurt again. About not being allowed to be there for her in any way. About being afraid to fall in love. About being afraid to be with her. About being afraid the fragile Becky might fall one day, breaking into a thousand pieces. Lying on the floor, shattered…broken…

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

Brotherhood of the World Bloggers Award

It happened again. I got nominated by Tiegan for the Brotherhood of the World Bloggers Award and didn’t even prepare a speech – much less another attempt at poetry. Shame on me. Thank you, Tiegan. First things first: Listing her nominees Tiegan wrote that all of them are girls and I don’t blame her. But let me tell you, I’m a guy, a dude, male, a…bro. So to all of you who might stumble across this post welcome 2 da hood. Just kidding 🙂

Back on topic. These are the rules:
Thank the blogger who nominated you and link back to them – check
List the rules and place the logo for the award on the post – check
Answer the questions
Nominate other blogs
Set them some questions

Tiegan’s questions:

1. What’s your dream pet?
A little penguin that wears a tiny hat. I’d call him George and we’d be best buddies.

2. If you had a child what would you name them?
Never thought about a boy but if it was a girl I’d call her Anna. It’s such a beautiful name.

3. What’s the one movie that you could watch over and over again?
There are a few like Fight Club or Napoleon Dynamite.

4. What’s your fondest childhood memory?
I’d say Christmas: baking cookies with my grandma, building Lego things with my dad…I really liked that.

5. What’s your idea of a dream date?
There’s no general answer to that. I think it just has to feel right and that’s something you can only determine during individual dates.

6. What do you think your best personality trait is?
I can keep secrets.

7. Cats or dogs?
Neither. A penguin 🙂

Concerning my nominations, I nominate all the bros who might come across this post 🙂

My questions:

1. Who’s your childhood hero (real or fictional)?
2. Which song makes you happy?
3. Did a (special line in a) song ever answer a question for you that haunted you for a long time?
4. Which fictional or historical character would you like to meet in your life and why?
5. What’s the most important lesson you learned in life?
6. Which country would you like to visit?

Behind the Glass #7

Just A Shadow Left

When the song was written it was simply called My Heart Is Gone. It was written about a friend of mine. Or someone who used to be my friend. We went to school together all our lives. He was a pretty decent guy, really popular. Anyways, that wasn’t the reason I befriended him as I’m usually not someone to go with the popular people.

So – let’s call him Monty for the sake of giving him a name – Monty was, let’s face it, one of the most popular guys in our year. He had a lot of friends inside and outside of school and so he was part many activities taking part outside school. I wasn’t, so I know all this from people talking about it afterwards but I always was okay with the fact of not being that popular – I actually liked it.
Anyways, so Monty was that popular guy who did not have much luck with girls. Too bad, he was a nice guy. Not long after graduation he got to know a girl who, someone told me, he married. It seemed to me like an act of despair. Don’t get me wrong, I’m not judging him in any way. I’m just stating my impression.
Quite some time before coming to know of Monty’s marriage someone else told me that he severed all ties with his former friends from school and does not visit any matches of his favorite soccer team anymore. And Monty always loved soccer. So, that told me a lot and, to be honest, it was quite shocking because I cannot imagine Monty without watching soccer.

Just A Shadow Left deals with Monty being consumed by that girl of his until he is nothing more than a shell without a soul. The Shadow part in the verses is Monty being devoured. Searching happiness, thinking he found it and not realizing that the girl’s eating his heart out.
The second parts of the verses deal with someone warning him about that particular girl and what will happen once he’s been completely made a part of her. When he depends on her, being destroyed by her words and her actions. It’s a constant fall down the spiral but he’ll only realize it when he smashes down on the ground. When it’s too late.
The last verse can be seen as the beginning of Monty’s end, the day she throws him down that final step of the stairway to his destruction; the day he finally hits the ground, face first; the day he realizes he was warned because someone wanted the best for him.

The chorus is a pretty short part and it’s actually just Bino relieving some steam. No, he would never have loved to see Monty crawling on the floor because his then-girlfriend left him but because he might have changed back into the person he was: the soccer-loving, popular Monty.
We often talked about people we know turning their backs on their friends because of some girl they met. We never wanted that to happen to us, especially, as we witnessed a close friend of ours do the same, at least to a certain degree.
I never wrote that song because I hated Monty, I still don’t. And I never wrote it because I wished him bad luck, I still don’t. I haven’t seen him for seven years now and maybe I will never see him again, I don’t know. Be that as it may, I just hope he is happy with his wife and maybe even a small family. Good luck, Monty!

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

Behind the Glass #6

Killing Me Inside

A Lovers’ Standoff would be an alternative title for this song. It was never an option and just came into my mind while writing this text. Actually, Killing Me Inside always kept it’s working title. Besides Destructive Mind it’s the only song that contains spoken parts.

The lyrics deal with two ex-lovers, Holly and Bino, and their final confrontation before…yeah, before what? I think, it more or less describes Bino and Holly facing each other one last time before their break-up.

During the verses Bino can be found tied to a chair being some kind of prisoner or a defendant with no lawyer present. On the other hand, their standoff being an emotional one, he’s sitting in some kind of angry chair, representing a bunch of negative emotions.
No matter what he does he knows he won’t leave this chair alive. Well, not literally, he just has to die on the inside in order to forget Holly. However, dying for her does not make the memories go away. That’s the case until today.

The spoken part is Bino confronting Holly directly. No matter what she does to him, she is not able to break or kill him. At least he doesn’t show to her that what she says and does to him is tearing him apart. This is shown by the line “Still I don’t make a sound”; i.e. no matter what you do to me you’ll never see or know its effects. The spoken lines also make clear that they both past the point of no return. They are in the same room but let’s imagine Holly standing before Bino throwing accusations at him (“You spit in my face”) and him sitting, obviously, in the chair. So whatever happens is not gonna save their relationship.

In order to overcome the separation Bino had to go through hell for a long time. That’s what the chorus is all about. The final chorus is about Bino knowing that one day there’ll be an end to his torment – he just has to die to see it. And he did die.

The lyrics were written at a time when I was pretty angry and depressed. They’re my way of dealing with all the pain and rage that was bottled up inside of me. However, no matter what these and other lyrics dealing with Holly express I have to clarify one thing: Holly always has been an awesome person – sweet, intelligent and beautiful – I’m sure she still is.
Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.
Feel free to comment and share your thoughts.

Thank you so much for taking the time to read this.

Feel free to comment and share your thoughts.