Five of the Week #8

Well, it’s time again. Today it’s all about the neighbors. I guess that all of you have some very ‘special’ neighbors whereas ‘special’ is not necessarily linked to positive connotations. Honestly, who doesn’t watch their neighbors when they are outside? Ok, you don’t always do it but from time to time it is quite interesting. Now take the times you observe these people and try to figure out how often you think something ‘evil’ (not the bad ‘evil’ but the not so good ‘evil’, if you know what I mean). More often than you might want to admit.Well, now you could say there are  neighbors who deserve what you think and you’re right. There are certain types of neighbors who should go jump in the lake.

1. The Over-Curious
He often is single or widowed, depending on his age, and lives right next door. If there is just the slightest sound on the street, he tears open the door to see what’s going on. This can be pretty annoying if you cannot open your letter box without him watching you. Actually, it’s pretty annoying concerning everything you do because you feel like he’s watching your every move. And let’s not forget all the times he walks around outside, pretending to do something just to observe the street. Yes, this is how rumors start.

2. The Over-Friendly
When you pass your neighbors on the street you say hello. So far, so good, so normal. However, if you have this type living in your street saying hello can become a torture. Why? Imagine yourself walking to your garage, seeing the over-friendly neighbor and saying hello. Now, while you open the garage you feel his gaze still on you. Even in the car you can feel it and when you drive away he’s still watching you intently just to wave goodbye while you pass him. Coming back, the same neighbor is still, or again, outside, waving as you turn into your street. When you get out of the car you can feel that intense gaze again until you turn around and say hello to him. As you have to pass him more than once per day, this gets pretty annoying. Even worse if there are two of this type. I know what I’m talking about.

3. The Ghost(s)
He’s the one who lives on your street but acutally you never see him.In the evening there is no light on. If you’re lucky you may see the light from the TV in the glass of his door. Should you see him, he often gives you just a nod and then disappears again for days. Well, the good thing is that mostly he keeps to himself and you’ll never hear a sound from inside his house (no parties, no music etc.). This also holds true for the ghosts. They are either old people (with no friends and family) or one of these modern-hippie-wannabe-environmentalist couples. Level five vegans who eat nothing that throws a shadow.

4. The Over-Clean/The Messy Person
Either you see him mowing his lawn every week or the grass is nearly covering his kitchen window. Some neighbors are one of these extremes. I think we all prefer type number one, don’t we? Or is there anyone who likes his front lawn covered it garbage? The funny thing (funny if you’re not concerned) to have exactly these to types living next door to each other. Ok, their fighting might get annoying or boring pretty fast, but sometimes it’s still fun to watch and just be entertained, isn’t it?

5. The Asshole
The first thing you think when he moves in is “Damn, he looks so unfriendly.” Well, most of the times you’re wrong and as soon as he warms to you he’s the most friendly guy you’ve ever met. Most of the times…sometimes you’re right and he’s just an asshole, ranting and raving against the neighborhood and soon life just isn’t the way it was before. Now, you either move away or the whole neighborhood stands up to him. Then the asshole brings the big guns in (literally speaking, depending on how much of an asshole he is) but mostly this means going to court with him…and not just once. However, if there’s always been a good neighborhood, chances are good that the asshole will pack his bags and move far, far away.


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