Five of the Week #2

Second week and I’m writing again. Ha, I kept my promise and I intend do so for this year. Yes, that’s a good time span, isn’t it? Well, here we go.

Have you ever had a stressful week? I’m pretty sure you had. Well, there are also week that aren’t stressful at all. Actually, they are quite “normal”, like the usual stuff going on. However, a stressful week or not, there are times when you think “When is Friday afternoon?”. You know that, do you? And then Friday afternoon becomes evening and evening becomes night. When you open your eyes the next day, woken by the smell of fresh brewn coffee, it’s Saturday. You open the shutters and the morning sun shines right into your face. The sky is blue, it’s warm outside and there is no cloud to be seen. The birds are singing their most beautiful songs, ducks are making love on your front lawn and so on. To put it briefly it’s a picture perfect Saturday morning making compensation for a bad week, you’re in the best of moods and then there is this…

The five things to really screw up a beautiful Saturday

1. Pensioners at the Supermarket
I have nothing against old people but, honestly, why do they have to go shopping on a Saturday morning? I mean don’t they have enough time all week? No, it has to be Saturday. They often need only one thing but this can be enough to drive the shop assistants mad. For example do they need butter but “the one I always buy”. How the hell should the vendor know what kind of butter that is? Pox on whoever doesn’t know their favorite butter. At least they “have been buying it in this shop for the last 30 years.” And if the butter isn’t available all hell breaks loose.

Another thing those people are good at is paying. When their at the register, they either give the sales girl the wallet to get the money herself (shame on her if she takes a bill instead of all the loose cash) or it goes like this: the old woman (’cause they often pay) takes out a 10 Euro bill when she has to pay, let’s say, 7,98 Euros and hands it to the cashier. The latter takes it and the old lady screams “Stop! I got it.” And then she starts picking out the coins one by one until she’s got 7,96 Euros. “Oh, I thought I had 7,98 Euros” and she starts putting the money back and either pays with a 50 Euro bill or with her credit card saying her PIN aloud. Until then she wasted 5-10 minutes of your beutiful Saturday.

2. People who can’t drive their Cars
An open road, 100 Km/h, good music and in front of you is someone who simply cannot drive. Either it’s (again) a pensioner in a big Mercedes who can’t look over the steering wheel or it’s just someone else who is as annoying. In these moments you never get the chance to overtake and you have to follow them, slowly, to your destination because they don’t intend of ever turning right or left. No, all they do is slam on the breaks when there is no reason to do so. And all you can do is watch the nodding dog on their rear shelf approving all their actions.

3. Children in a Café
How come all the parents with their Horst-Kevins and Chantalle-Michelles (those are pretty prejudiced names in Germany) have to be in a café on a beautiful Saturday? It is pretty annoying when you want to have breakfast and you like it quiet in the morning and those little brats are running around, all screaming and occasionally knocking against your table. All the parents have to say is: “Schantalle (yes, they pronounce the name like this although it’s not correct) pay attention” which sounds to me like “You can bump your head against that table but don’t spill the guy’s coffee.”

4. Unannounced Visitors
You plan to spend your beautiful Saturday doing whatever you wanna do an suddenly the door bell rings and who’s there? Someone who never visits you at all or your in-laws and all your plans crash down the minute they cross the threshold. Ignore the fact that those people “happened to be around”. They didn’t. No, those people have a feel for crashing Saturdays. I think they get up in the morning saying “Isn’t that a beautiful day? Come on, let’s crash someone’s weekend.” So, be careful whom you open the door. Better safe than sorry.

5. Boredom
It’s a beautiful day and you call your friends because you’ve got the best of ideas to spend the day…and no one’s got any time. The day fades away until Saturday becomes Sunday and Sunday becomes Monday and another week begins. Yes, the drab monotony of everyday life has got you back and there is nothing you can do about it but wait for the next beautiful Saturday…

Well, that’s it.

Is there anything on this list that can screw up your Saturday? What can screw up your Saturday?

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