Tales from the Ashtray – #12 Look Inside

Look Inside

Afraid to stand beside a shadow and to fall
To swim against the stream, to run against the wall
I can drown, I can’t climb
I can only face the demon in my mind

Afraid to stand beside a shadow and to fail
To be hit by a train, to be tied to the rail
I can fly, I can’t die
I can’t let the demon chase you from my mind

And with time comes and goes the pain
My failures pouring down in a burning, burning rain
I beg you to call out my name
Hold me, hold me tight and keep me sane
I’m still walking, can’t step out of my shoes
But I love you

Afraid to see the shadow when I break
To crack my outer shell, be constantly awake
I can’t leak, I can’t sleep
I can’t let the demon get the best of me

I want to cut
I want to bleed
I want to scream it away

And with time comes and goes the pain
My failures pouring down in a burning, burning rain
I beg you to call out my name
Hold me, hold me tight and keep me sane
I’m still walking, can’t step out of my shoes
But I love you

I want to cut
I want to bleed
I want to scream it away

I want to cut
I want to scream
I want to bleed it away

And with time comes and goes the pain
My failures pouring down in a burning, burning rain
I beg you to call out my name
Hold me, hold me tight and keep me sane
I’m still walking, can’t step out of my shoes
But I love you

Help me to fight it
Light it
Kill the dark

Tales from the Ashtray – #11 You’re the Gun, the Miss, the Ricochet

You’re the Gun, the Miss, the Ricochet

Kick me while I’m on the ground looking for my teeth
You thought I’d fall alone but misery loves company
I opened my arms to hold you and I’d be holding still
Too late before I realized you were opting for the kill

You are the gun
You are the miss
The ricochet that hits
When I think that I evaded it

Push me off the edge into a deep dark hole
You were craving for my sanity, tearing at my soul
I opened my heart to love you and I am bleeding still
Too late before I realized you were killing for the thrill

You are the gun
You are the miss
The ricochet that hits
When I think that I evaded it

You are the gun
You are the miss
The ricochet that hits
When I think that I evaded it

And every bullet that you shoot I spit right back at you
And every bullet that you shoot I spit right back at you
And every bullet that you shoot I spit right back at you
And every bullet that you shoot I…spit…right…back…at…you!!!

Tales from the Ashtray – #10 Give it back

Give it back

GIVE IT BACK!

Open your eyes to a dancer on an empty stage
You tore apart her play page by page by page
The crowd is gone
She’s all alone
With nowhere to call home

Another light shines on a screen behind your eyes
Every time you spark that flame your candle slowly dies
An empty room
A silent tomb
Is nowhere to call home

If her life is poetry
She’s verses with no melody
Your words – a waste of air
So close but never there
One day you’re gonna pay
For you threw it all away

Pain can be a pleasure but what if that was you?
Not a chance to stand the suffering that you put her through
An icy cave
A lonely place
Is nowhere to call home

If her life is poetry
She’s verses with no melody
Your words – a waste of air
So close but never there
One day you’re gonna pay
For you threw it all away

Give it back
Give it back
Give it back
Give it back
For you threw it all away

Give it back
Give it back
Give it back
Give it back
For you threw her far away

She cried for what has happened, for that different light
You lost your fucking mind to let her out of sight
An endless night
Of wrong or right
And nowhere to call home

If her life is poetry
She’s verses with no melody
Your words – a waste of air
So close but never there
One day you’re gonna pay
For you threw it all away

For you threw it all away
For you threw it all away
Can’t you see?
You should be crawling backwards on bleeding knees
For you threw it all away
For you threw it all away
There’s no way back

Tales from the Ashtray – #9 The Devil in Me

The Devil in Me

There are things that need to be said
That keep my heart locked inside my head
Remnants of thoughts, like ghosts haunting me
I was thrown against a wall of concrete

There you stand in the middle of my mind
Confronted with the monsters I thought I’d left behind
You laid another demon dead at my feet
Can I ever give what you need?

If you believe in me
I might be able to see (AGAIN)
To fill the void (EMPTINESS)
I was left broken and destroyed

There he fades on a separate track
Like ripples he is never coming back
Twisting the knife, see the devil in me
Can you hold me so I can bleed?

If you believe in me
I might be able to see (AGAIN)
To fill the void (EMPTINESS)
I was left broken and destroyed

I wanna run and hide
And shed some tears
Lie down and cry
And give in to my fears

Give me your hand
Help me to stand
With that smile on your face
Take me away from this place

Can you take me away from this place?
Give me your hand
Can you take me away from this place?
Give me your hand
Take me away from this place
Bring me home

There is my devil again and he screams
You are not even close to what she needs
I am nothing like him, can’t you see?
Will you still believe in (THE DEVIL IN) me?

If you believe in me
I might be able to see (AGAIN)
To fill the void (EMPTINESS)
I was left broken and destroyed

If you believe in me
I might be able to see (AGAIN)
To fill the void (EMPTINESS)
I was left broken and destroyed

Will you…?

Tales from the Ashtray – #8 Burn It All

Burn It All

There’s rain (RAIN), rain falling from your eyes
How can the starling crash if it never flies?
(YOU DID! FOR YEARS)
Been in that sky for way too long
Up and down and it all went wrong

The clouds got thicker, the sky turned gray
You take one step forward going two away
One song on a piano played in different keys (BLACK AND WHITE)
What one shows, the other never sees

I want you to know
That everything he’s ever built
I’d burn it all down

You were lost (ALONE) and few ever knew
When the bridges crashed who’d believe you?
(IT HURTS! STILL DOES!)
The last stones thrown always hit the heart
A fork in the road where ways finally part (FOREVER)

I want you to know
That everything he’s ever built
I’d burn it all down

I want you to know
That everything he’s ever built
I’D BURN IT ALL…DOWN

Let’s walk outside for a while
(YOU AND ME)
See where it will lead us
(YOU AND ME)
Take my hand, let’s walk outside
For a while

I want you to know
That everything he’s ever built
I’d burn it all down

I want you to know
That everything he’s ever burned
I’ll rebuild

I hope I can

Tales from the Ashtray – #7 Of Broken Hearts And Cracked Smiles

Of Broken Hearts And Cracked Smiles

Everything began with you, the bridges burning
Twisting my words, still turning
There’s an end to every line, wake up from the dream
On a midsummer night, where have I been?
Outside, on the other side, see me hiding
Hear the scratch of your pen, you’re writing
Rhymes and lines and words that hurt
Your poetry is killing me

With a cracked smile and a broken heart
With a cracked smile and a broken heart
With a cracked smile and a broken heart

The last leaves of fall settle on the ground
You’re my approaching winter in a cyanide gown
Drown out the voices screaming in my head
Just let me go, why do you have to keep me instead?
Waving, on the other side, I sense you smiling
Hear the falling letters, oh you’re writing
Lines that die and words that hurt
Your poetry is killing me

With a cracked smile and a broken heart
With a cracked smile and a broken heart
With a cracked smile and a broken heart

And I open my mouth to scream
But the words won’t come out
My voice breaks so I suffer in silence
While your waves are crashing on my island

And I open my mouth to scream
But the words won’t come out
My voice breaks so I suffer in silence
While your waves are crashing on my island

With a cracked smile and a broken heart
With a cracked smile and a broken…
Heart

When at last we part, the city is destroyed
Annihilation, misery, come on fill the void
Colors that drain from a photograph
Tear me apart the way I cut you in half
Inside, on the other side, I’m dying
The sounds of a pen on paper, you’re writing
Verses and curses and words never heard
You’re poetry, you’re killing me

With a cracked smile and a broken heart
With a cracked smile and a broken heart
With a cracked smile and a broken heart (you’re killing me)
With a cracked smile and a broken heart (you’re killing me)
WITH A CRACKED SMILE AND A BROKEN…
HEART!!!

Tales from the Ashtray – #6 With A Smile

With A Smile

It’s insane
All the ups and downs
Never knowing where to turn, where to go
And the pain
Not the worst I’ve ever known
When it’s gonna burn, burning slow

I’m afraid we
Might be headed in different directions
Afraid of chasing a reflection
You could use that gun on me tonight
With a smile

I’m a clown
The colors on my face
Washed away by tears, now replaced
Still a clown
So easy to erase
All of my fears, steps retraced

I’m afraid we
Might be headed in different directions
Afraid of chasing a reflection
You could use that gun on me tonight
With a smile

I know I shouldn’t think too much
Hell, I tried
I’d lie
If I said I didn’t care

So easy for you to say
Lift me up or throw me away
I wouldn’t blame you

What we’ve said
Tears I wiped away
I held you when you cried, wish I had
In my head
Still dream about that day
I held you tight, dreamer’s dead?

I’m afraid we
Might be headed in different directions
Afraid of chasing a reflection
You could use that gun on me tonight
With a smile

I care for you, I really do
Feel you here, so far away
Will you go? Are you coming back?
Will you ever stay?

I’m afraid we
Might be headed in different directions
Afraid of chasing a reflection
You could use that gun on me tonight
Or make me smile

Feel free to share your thoughts.

Tales from the Ashtray – #5 Banquo

Banquo

Turn that face away
Where tears have left scars in those eyes
Trace them all the way
From the lines on your cheeks to that cracked smile
No one’s gonna see, no one’s gonna feel
The pain I’ve left behind
In the warzone of a soul lies the wasteland of a heart
Even if you broke me, I tore you apart

When I close my eyes
I see you walking down the aisle
Feeling blue, draped in black
So beautiful in white
I’m the ghost, the Banquo by your side

Burn that fairy tale
On the pyre of a book read in the past
Love to no avail
Shouldn’t start, couldn’t stop, wouldn’t make it last
No one’s gonna see, no one’s gonna hear
The tears I made you cry
In the warzone of a soul lies the wasteland of a heart
Even if you broke me, I tore you apart

When I close my eyes
I see you walking down the aisle
Feeling blue, draped in black
So beautiful in white
I’m the ghost, the Banquo by your side

We were the devil and the dancer
The jester and the queen
Dark inside the light
Never to be seen

One more step my little dancer
Closer to the edge of the world
One more question I can’t answer
Closer to the edge of the world

Twist that knife around
Sever the cord, make the bones come crashing down
Shattered on the ground
Like memories in a trash can, left to rot, left to drown
No one’s gonna see, no one’s gonna heal
The wounds I left inside
In the warzone of a soul lies the wasteland of a heart
Even if you broke me, I tore you apart

When I close my eyes
I see you walking down the aisle
Feeling blue, draped in black
So beautiful in white
I’m the ghost, the Banquo by your side

When I close my eyes
I see you walking down the aisle
Feeling blue, draped in black
So beautiful in white
I’m the ghost, the Banquo by your side

I’m the ghost
I’m Banquo
I’m Banquo
Let me go
You’ll never let me go

Feel free to share your thoughts.

Tales from the Ashtray – #4 Down from the Sky

Down from the Sky

Share another bottle with the mind
One more question asked, one more answer I can’t find
Time spreads around the room like night
And it’s dark again, the focus shifts out of sight

And the walls start closing in
As I lose myself again
Stop the house from crumbling
Stop the stars from tumbling
Down from the sky

Burn another cigarette, catch the smoke
A screen before the eyes, the phantoms of what broke
I crawl on the floor like a serpent in a daze
Lost at the crossroads, unable to find my way

And the walls start closing in
As I lose myself again
Stop the house from crumbling
Stop the stars from tumbling
Down from the sky

It’s raining pictures
It’s raining frames
Shattering on the ground
Colors running down the gutter
‘Til they are no more

It’s raining pictures
It’s raining frames
Shattering on the ground
Colors running down the gutter
‘Til they are no more

And the walls start closing in
As I lose myself again
Stop the house from crumbling
Stop the stars from tumbling
Down from the sky

I’m burning pictures
I’m burning frames
Splinters on the ground
Ashes running down the gutter
‘Til we are no more

We were wrong
We were wrong
We were wrong
We were wrong
We fell down from the sky

We were wrong
We were wrong
WE ARE GONE

Feel free to share your thoughts.

Tales from the Ashtray – #3 She Said

She Said

Words painted on the wall
Letters slowly disappear
It’s obvious we fall
We can’t read when we’re no longer here

We’re nothing but a dream
An illusion, a trick of the brain
Torn apart at the seams
Left to be flushed down the drain

She said
One more pain, one more sorrow
Yesterday will be gone tomorrow
She said
We’ve been jesters, we’ve been fools
Now I’m done and so are you
She said

Windows smashed to pieces
Splintering hearts along the road
If we do this do we need this?
Where do we go? Do you know?

She said
One more pain, one more sorrow
Yesterday will be gone tomorrow
She said
We’ve been jesters, we’ve been fools
Now I’m done and so are you
She said

She said
She said
She said
She said

She said
She said
She said
She knew

Alone, all alone on separate ways
Two minds and different layers
Still we star in our plays
The antagonist is a different player

She said
One more pain, one more sorrow
Yesterday will be gone tomorrow
She said
We’ve been jesters, we’ve been fools
Now I’m done and so are you
She said

She said
She said
She said
She said

She’s sad

Feel free to share your thoughts.